In life with children, and work with older adults, I have come to learn the value of redirecting. With a young child, it is addressing an escalating or emotional situation with distraction. “Oh my gosh, look at this” or “Quick, come with me, I have something for you.” We all know the drill. Change the focus and change the narrative.

We see the same tools applying with older adults with cognitive impairment but, of course, not in the same way. We might encounter someone who is insistent about waiting for a loved one whom we know cannot, or is not, coming at that time. Rather than approaching it with a truth that will be further upsetting, we might say, “Shall we make a snack for them to eat when they visit?” Starting a new and engaging activity can help ease a painful and difficult moment for someone who is struggling.

I think, sometimes, about what a powerful tool it is to redirect someone, to help them find another avenue that will meet their needs and defuse their emotional angst. And I wonder why it is that we can be so successful doing that for others and so woefully unsuccessful in doing it for ourselves.

Whatever issue, frustration or stress is weighing on us, for most of us it is an unending loop. We may be involved in something else, concentrating on a project, a conversation or even reading a book and yet, the concern continues to cycle through our thinking, like ever present elevator music, constant and repetitive.

What would life be like if we could learn to truly redirect ourselves, to move ourselves into something different and so engaging that we let the worry stream stop. What if we could take our fears and move past them, freeing ourselves from the self doubt that holds us back?

Our minds are our most powerful tool. Can we use them to redirect ourselves, to shut away the nagging voices and repetitive anxieties, especially in the middle of the night?

There are any number of tools and techniques to help us do just that. We can visualize locking those thoughts in a tightly sealed box and not letting them out. We can imagine throwing them in the ocean and letting them float away on the waves. We can work to focus on our breathing, with long inhales of positives and exhales of those things that plague us.

As for me, I try to talk to myself as I would someone I care about (not easy in a person for whom negative self talk is a deeply ingrained behavior), to both counter those thoughts and to visualize taking my hands and physically, forcefully pushing them out of my head.

To have full hearts, we must also love ourselves, something we often find hard to do. Self love and self care matter. Gratitude matters. And being strong enough to redirect ourselves can open our minds and open our hearts.