For the better part of the last year, I have had the opportunity to serve as a coach in a leadership program in my chosen field of elder care services. It’s the second time I’ve done this and there is no question that it is a serious commitment. Organized in teams of eight fellows per coach, we spend a lot of time together in both in person and virtual meetings. We get to know each other well, our personalities and preferences, our work environments, our challenges as well as our hopes and dreams for the future. We also gain a lot of insight into one another as human beings, knowing each other deeply and well with the connection of shared experience and honest conversations.

My role, as coach, is to encourage, to ask questions, to help provide guidance, to serve as a sounding board and to help the team move successfully through the well defined process of learning.

It is a big investment of time and energy for the fellows and for the coaches but it is so worthwhile to see the growth that happens, to witness the moment when things all start to “click” and resonate with the fellows, to watch their ideas for the future of their own careers, as well as our field, start to bloom and take shape.

And as I sit here, another year of coaching under my belt, I am reflecting upon the learning that I have found, the lessons each of these fellows have taught, inspired or reinforced in me.

I believe that, to truly be an effective leader, we have to lead with both our heads and our hearts. One without the other is incomplete and you are shortchanging the organization, the people with whom you work and yourself. Yes, we have to know and understand, learn and listen. But caring and commitment can and do make the critical difference between success and failure.

We have all seen people, in every walk of life, who force things to happen. They bully, they command, they bluster and they push. And, yes, action can result. But not action with meaning, not action that is fully sustainable.

To truly lead, to truly create successful outcomes, our heart has to be fully engaged. We have to care about the work. We have to care both about the outcome and the meaning, We have to care about the people who make it happen. And we can only do that when we accept that truth, when we allow ourselves to be human and vulnerable, when we make honesty and caring a priority.

It is not easy as a leader, at any point in our careers, to let people know that we are human and fallible, that regardless of the role we play, as my dad would have said, “We all put our pants on one leg at a time.” It is knowing this, it is being genuine, it is opening our hearts and connecting with the hearts of others that creates not just success but sustainability.

Putting our heads and our hearts front and center in our leadership feels like a risk but, in truth, this risk has true rewards. It benefits our work, it grows and inspires our teams, it sets a standard for strong, healthy organizations, it enables us to make things happen and it, truly and always, fills our full hearts.