Someone I met recently, and know but not well, said an interesting thing to me. She said that she thought I had truly mastered the art of mindfulness and calm. She attributed that to my yoga teaching and her perception was echoed by another person present for the conversation.

I thanked her and smiled and made what I hope was a successful effort to quell the eye roll that was my instinctive, and quite honest, reaction to that comment. It is lovely to hear words like that and they were intended, and taken, as a compliment. But the reality, as I know it and live it, is that my calm is learned and practiced but not a representation of who I really am.

To be successful in our lives and work and relationships, we adopt the behaviors that will work for us. I am, by nature, someone I would label as “high strung.” My emotions are close to the surface, my worry indicator is permanently set on high and I am often anxious. I also have a perilously short fuse. My beloved husband would tell you that his full time job is peeling me off the ceiling and, while I try not to agree with that, it is close to the truth.

But, I have learned that the outward manifestation of what I truly feel needs to be controlled. I’ve learned, and I believe, that we don’t have the luxury of acting out all of our emotions, that we need to maintain a posture of calm to be effective, both personally and professionally.

That is not an easy thing to do. But, reacting in measured ways, pausing for control when we need it, remembering to breathe, can enhance our effectiveness in all ways and in all settings.

I’m not suggesting that I am always calm or that any of us can achieve that all of the time. What I am suggesting is that we recognize that behaviors are purposeful, behaviors are a choice. Who I choose to show you, how I choose to interact with you may not fully reveal my deepest self to you. And that’s okay and maybe even better than okay. It is the way in which we build relationships, promote harmony and continue to build and grow our full hearts.