Conversations about change have been a persistent theme this week, talking about organizational change, professional change and personal change. And the topic has been the source of both thought and retrospection for me.

I have often said that I like change and that is an absolute truth in my professional life. Oh, I am no fan of change for the sake of change but change that makes a difference, that moves things forward, that has the potential for growth, and I am the first one waving the banner of “Let’s Do It!” And, in fact, it is the inevitable “not as fast as I want it to happen” that I find frustrating.

But I also know that, in my personal life, there have been major changes that found me dragging my feet. I could not imagine disrupting the “status quo” of my life, even though I knew I could not continue the way it was. It took me years to face the ending of a long term relationship, years in which I was afraid and insecure. When the final moment came, with accompanying drama and recrimination, I still doubted myself, still questioned my decisions.

When I told friends and family, to my utter astonishment, no one expressed any surprise. It was evident that all of them had seen through my elaborate and purposeful pretense, reading the situation with more clarity than I was willing to face.

I know every day that I am blessed to have moved past that moment, to have had the ability and opportunity to move forward positively. I know every day that we are capable of doing the “tough stuff” and that there is more “tough stuff” in our lives than any of us would choose. And I know that, when we think we are protecting ourselves and others, we may be wrong or we may be doing it for the wrong reasons. Strength, honesty, courage—all ways we fill our full hearts.