They say that you can’t pour from an empty cup but that doesn’t stop many of us from trying to do just that. We push to get things done, to meet our obligations, to take care of others, to create change and so much more. We think that all that is required is determination and we can make everything happen.

I am, I freely admit, someone who lives her life that way. I refuse to admit any limits to my capacity and, no matter what, I force myself forward. It is, I would tell you if you asked, just who I am.

During the dark days of COVID, when I had to have my temperature checked whenever I entered my place of work, I made a point of opening my coat fully on cool days and blasting air conditioning in my car if I was in doubt about the outdoor temperature. I also admit, with very little, if any, contrition, that I was sure to take a couple of ibuprofens before I left the house to prevent triggering the scanner and running the risk of having to leave. I was absolutely committed to being at work, to not letting a virus come between me and my responsibilities.

I say this without any sense of either pride or shame. Rather a bit of a rueful shake of my head and shrug of my shoulders, knowing who I am, knowing my expectations of myself.

This week I came home from a few days away and, as a souvenir I guess, brought with me a major cold. I had a couple of rough nights, unable to sleep or even lie flat because of the coughing and I carried a box of tissues with me everywhere I went.

At work, someone said to me “You never get sick” and I nodded in agreement. What I realized at 2 a.m., as I sipped hot water with honey and lemon, was that it is not that I never get sick. It’s that I don’t allow myself to accept being sick, that I am convinced that I can just keep going.

When I had major back surgery a couple of years ago, I was discharged from the hospital on a Wednesday and was in Zoom meetings on Thursday (camera off!) even though I could just about roll myself out of the bed.

As I reflect on this behavior, I know I am not alone in it. I know many of us cannot let go, even for a minute. And I don’t think that what I do, and how I behave, is right or even good.

We get one body and one life. Taking care of ourselves is vital. And, learning and believing that we are not just entitled, but obligated, to care for ourselves is key. Listening to our bodies, understanding that our wellbeing is as important as everyone else in our lives, is a place to start. If we are to fill our full hearts, we have to honor the physical being that supports them.