The changing of the year on the calendar is always one of those lines of demarcation—a chance to decide what we want to be different going forward. It is easy to cite the obvious targets. I will exercise more or eat better or get more sleep . . . That’s all great, especially if you honor those commitments and really work to achieve those goals.

For me, it is not so much about the health goals, although I know they matter. I am a dedicated exerciser, I eat relatively well (better if I could keep my hand out of the pretzel bag) and sleeping well has never been one of my skills.

Where I find myself as I see the new year beginning is looking within and focusing on what it is I need/want to change about myself. I am sure many of you are doing the same. What would I change if I could? And, why couldn’t I, if I committed to that change?

My goal this year is to find more ways to live in the light. I am a “catastrophiser,” which is maybe my word but one I know you understand. I immediately jump to the worst in just about any situation. If my husband is ten minutes late and I can’t reach him on the phone, I know that he is somewhere in a medical crisis and cannot call me. If something goes haywire at work, I see the end of the world as we know it. Lest you think I live my professional life in a panic, I have learned to take a breath and calm down. I have learned to take a step back and get through the challenge. I have learned to maintain a calm presence and keep others calm and I have learned to find my way back from that dark place. But wouldn’t it be better if I didn’t go to the dark place first? Wouldn’t it be better if the calm came first rather than the storm?

And if I can find my way to stay in the light, I wonder if I can help others to do the same? I try, with friends and family, to help them find light in their own crises, to look for the positives or the solutions or the comfort. But if I can better live in my own light, maybe I can help them as well.

My personal mantra, one I often repeat silently, is “Slow down. Calm down.” But starting today I am going to try and add to that, “Slow down. Calm down. Find the light.” If I can remember to look for the light and push the darkness away, perhaps I can live in more mindful balance in myself, perhaps I can help those I love to do the same. Perhaps, in this way, I can continue to grow my full heart.