My father was a clothes horse. Even he would not deny that. He was very self conscious, very concerned about how he appeared and how he was perceived and clothes were a part of that.

Dad’s clothes were not off the rack either. His suits, his overcoats, were all custom made. In fact, as a kid I really thought that Mr. Cabelka was a member of the family not just my father’s tailor!

Dad had drawers full of ties, closets full of shirts and a collection of suits and shoes that went back decades. Each piece was meticulously cared for and hung perfectly (and filled every closet of the house in which I grew up).

When he died, my brother and I donated all of his suits, with many of the older ones going to a local theatre company. They were thrilled to get double breasted suits and even some spats!

I kept one suit and I kept only one tie. The tie was a very old silk tie that I don’t remember him wearing. I suspect it was from an era before I was born and it has turtles hand-painted on it, swimming happily in an endless pastel sea.

If you had asked me, I couldn’t tell you where I put that tie or even if I still had it. Yet, in the last week, the tie re-surfaced in my closet, hanging on a hook near the door. I looked at it, hung it back up and forgot about it. Yet, several times over the last few days it has somehow managed to end up in my hand as I reached for an article of clothing. It wasn’t me reaching for it or even thinking about it, and yet, there it was.

I am not reading anything “metaphysical” into this, not at all. But there was a part of me that felt as if there was a message in this, something I was supposed to see and understand. Of course, it made me think about my dad, whose birthday is next week. But, more than that, it made me think about what my dad would say to me right now. He would ask me about what I was doing, what I want to do and, more than that, about what comes next. He would want me to think about what more I have to offer and to support me as I moved forward. In some ways, the “turtle tie” as I always called it, brought his love and support to me, despite him being gone for so many years. Whether it was a memory or a sign, it was another way to fill my full heart.