I was born to be a worrier. Seriously. I am quite certain that it’s in my DNA, part of the legacy my father gave me. He was a world class worrier, Olympic gold medalist level. He would worry if we were a minute late getting home from school. He would worry about every cough and every sniffle. He would worry about anything that was not perfect, from the way we looked to the way he looked. And he would worry about the state of the world. It was a big part of his character and the way he showed his love. But it also consumed him in many ways, with anxiety that he could not get past, could not let go. There was no chance of not “sweating the small stuff” because, in truth, there was no small stuff.

I understand that characteristic because I have inherited so much of it. Is it nature or nurture? Probably a bit of both. But I can make a mountain out of a grain of sand, never mind a molehill. I can roll out every possible negative consequence in my mind and run them through like worry beads through my fingers, a continuous loop. There are times when, in the middle of the night, I try to visualize myself taking those anxious thoughts and literally shoving them out of my head, pushing them away so that I can try and sleep.

As I was fretting to my husband about some minor something, I commented about what a “high anxiety” person I am. His response was that he would not characterize me that way, rather than I am just tightly wound. He kindly did not say “too tightly wound” but I know that there are times that he feels that way.

We also talked about the fact that most people don’t realize that about me. Especially in my professional life, I have learned to show the face of calm, to, as I often say, “dial it down” both for myself and others. It’s been important for me to learn that, to find ways to take a step back from reacting, to choosing the words to say and the thoughts to share. I also make a real effort, within myself, to separate the “big stuff” from the “small stuff”and try to react accordingly.

We worry because we care, we worry because it is in our personality or it’s a product of our upbringing or our life experience. But learning to temper our anxieties, both with others and within ourselves, can enhance our lives, our relationships, our well-being and, of course, our full hearts.