Our lives are filled with so many competing priorities. We have to focus on our work and we can’t forget about the priority of our families. We have to practice self care and also care for others. We need to protect our families and ourselves and, simultaneously, care about the safety of the world. I often think that it is hard to determine what to worry about first. In the middle of the night, when my brain feels as if it is in overdrive, the worries cycle through on a continuous loop. “What about this?” And then, “But, what about that?” There is no ending and no beginning, just a hamster wheel of obligations and concerns, frustration and anxiety.

Cutting through the chaos is an effort that some of us are clearly better at than others. There are those admirable folks who can tuck their worries away and others who don’t have the personality or socialization to worry. They will, not incorrectly, ask us more anxious people what the point is of worrying. And they are right. There is no value in worrying but there is also no escaping it if that is who you are. We can learn to manage it better, we can find techniques that work for us but that does not mean that we walk away from worrying.

My dad was a world class worrier. If there were an Olympic event for worrying, he would have been a repeat Gold medalist. Dad worried about everything from how things/people looked to everyone’s health (including his own). He worried about work. He worried about my brother and me every time we were out of his sight, even when we were adults with lives of our own. Any time I took a car trip, the phone was ringing as I walked in the door when I got home. And it wasn’t the first call, I am sure. He would calculate his sense of how long it would take and then check up until he reached me. In truth, while I may deny that I do it, I watch the clock when I know my kids are traveling and I find a reason to text to check in. I know that I can’t unravel that knot in my stomach if I don’t know that they are safe. Never mind that they are all adults and live at a distance. Never mind that I don’t know what they are doing every day. Worry and rationality are not necessarily connected to one another!

I know that worry can be debilitating. I know that it can impact health and quality of life. But I also know that it is a hallmark of those who feel deeply, those whose emotions are intense. It is, in truth, a distinguishing characteristic of their personality. Dad worried because he cared and, as impatient as it sometimes made me, it came from a place of love. I, too, worry because I care. I care passionately about so many things and I won’t apologize for that. I try keep my peace about what’s on my mind, I try to quell my need to ask and know and obsess until I have the answer. I have learned, or am trying to learn, to give myself the grace to accept who I am. Understanding and accepting ourselves, imperfections and all, is the only way to honestly fill our full hearts.