I hold a regular monthly meeting with a number of my team. I start each session with a question, an icebreaker of sorts, intended to help people who don’t work together daily, and whose paths may not often cross, to get to know each other better. I believe it’s a way to help build team and create connections and it also enables me to get to know each individual on a more personal level.

Sometimes the questions are light hearted or even silly, things like “if you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be,” or asking for them to name a favorite movie.

This past week’s question dug a little deeper when I posed “What aspect of your character are you the most grateful for?” It was a question that prompted a lot of immediate answers, from kindness and loyalty to detail-oriented and persistent.

The corollary question, of course, is the one I didn’t ask. How often do you recognize your positive qualities as opposed to how often you berate yourself for those characteristics that frustrate or disappoint you? How much more likely are you to to be self critical rather than see the good in who you are?

I often shake my head at myself, frustrated by the ways in which I find myself lacking. If only I was, if only I wasn’t—finding fault is easy. What is more difficult is remembering those characteristics that are positive, that help to make me the person that I am. How much better would it be if we countered our negative thoughts with positive, if we interrupted our self critical internal monologue with the recognition that we each have positive qualities, qualities that make us uniquely who we are, qualities that enable us to fill our full hearts.