It is, I suppose, a coping mechanism we all share. We believe that life is stable, we expect that tomorrow will be like today and yesterday, we lull ourselves into that dangerous state of taking things for granted. We all have moments, or periods of time, when we wonder what will happen next, when we feel that the ground beneath us is shifting, but as soon as we find a place of stability, we hold on, we settle in and we allow ourselves to think that things will always be this way.

I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that behavior, in truth. After all, if we live in a constant state of anxiety and insecurity, we would be unable to function, unable to move forward. Certainly there are people who live in that state and it often becomes a psychological disturbance, limiting their lives and their relationships.

But, for most of us, the desire for stability and safety that is part of human nature, leads us to a complacency that is just not real. Oh, yes, I know a few people for whom much of life has been predictable and logical, who go down the road of life oblivious to many of the challenges that others face.

The majority of us, however, have moments of not just bumpiness, but real upheaval. We face loss on large scale and small, we battle illnesses, we encounter trauma. And our lives, and our world, are turned upside down. When the worst is over, or the situation resolved in some good or bad fashion, we find a state of “new normal,” different but still satisfying that longing for security.

Someone asked me recently if there was anything that I believed as a child that I found to be false when I became an adult. And it is just that, realizing that, as a child, I had an unshakeable certainty in so many things. I knew that my parents and my brother would be with me forever. I knew that the choices I made were sound and right, from where to go to school and what to study, to getting engaged at 18 and married at barely 21. Nothing was going to change, the road ahead was clear and stable and it all made sense. Until it didn’t. Until life handed me challenges I didn’t expect, didn’t want and certainly was not at all prepared to handle.

Today I realize the impermanence of everything. I realize that life can, and does, change in the space between one heartbeat and the next. I realize that nothing is a given and that every moment is precious, every interaction is unique and non-repeatable. That is not to say that I don’t forget, that I don’t allow myself to have expectations about tomorrow and beyond. But I do know that every day merits gratitude, every moment has value and everything can, and does, shift in an instant. Holding that knowledge, remembering that truth, helps us always to fill our full hearts.