Years ago, I had a wonderful individual working as my administrative assistant. In truth, the title does not do her justice as she was so much more than that. I was young, new in a big role, managing a large budget and a good-sized staff and responsible for all of the marketing and communication for a significant hospital system. I felt pretty confident handling the strategies and materials and press and advertising but special events were new for me and were a source of some anxiety (still are!). I wanted everything to be perfect and I stressed over every detail. My assistant would say “There always has to be something that goes wrong before an event. That’s the price you pay for the event to be perfect.” And it did seem to end up that way. The gift items we had ordered for a dinner were delivered in pieces, rather than assembled, and, hearts pounding, we managed to put them together. Our guest speaker had an accident and was so late that we did not think they would appear (they eventually did). We made it happen. There was always something and, to this day, I think there always is something.

On a related note, when, as a child or even a teen, I was excited about going to a party or a dance, my mother would counsel me to temper my feelings. She’d say that you should go expecting just to have an “okay” time but not go in expecting a “wow.” If you did that, chances were that you would have a much better time than you’d anticipated.

I’ve been thinking about both those smart women and their sentiments and, I have to say, I understand the wisdom. And yet, I am not sure that I agree with them. I want to set my expectations high, I want to assume all will be great. I can handle the bumps or shifts with relative grace (for a person who tends towards drama, at least) but it seems to me that expectations are part of the joy. Looking forward to something, imagining what it will be like, is part of the experience that I don’t want to forfeit. No, I don’t want to drown in creating a perfect fantasy that cannot be realized, that’s not it at all. But I believe that walking in with an attitude of “this is going to be amazing” will help to make it amazing.

Life, as we know all too well, is finite and changes in the space between one heartbeat and the next. Seize the joy where you find it, ride the waves but stop looking for the sharks and, instead, gaze at the horizon. We have no time to waste and happiness, wherever we find it, to relish. In this way, we will continue to fill, and nurture, our full hearts.