As a parent, there have been so many times that I have wished that I could take my child’s place in a difficult situation. The first time I really remember thinking that was watching as one of my sons got on the school bus for the first time. He was new to this school, going into an environment in which other children had the benefit of already knowing one another other for a year or two. He was not especially comfortable in new situations and I stood there, watching him climb those bus steps, and thought “Oh, if I could only do this for you. If I could just go to school for you, make a friend or two and then it would all be easier for you.”

The same thought, in different iterations, occurred every time that the boys faced things I wished they didn’t have to face. Some of them were health issues, some of them the consequences of decisions they had made. All of them were times when I knew they were suffering or struggling or dealing with pain. And I wanted nothing more than to take that pain away. “Why can’t it be me?” I wondered and the corollary “I wish it were me rather than you.”

Of course we know that, as much as we love someone and as much as we wish it, their lives are their lives and we cannot take “the tough stuff” for them. Instead we worry and we pray and we do all we can to support, aching to make things better and knowing that we cannot always make that happen.

As I reflect on this, I can also remember moments in which I realize my parents felt this way as well. Having surgery at the age of 10, I remember waking up late at night and seeing my father at my bedside. He was standing, despite the chair nearby, and watching me with an intensity that I didn’t understand then but I do now.

In that same vein, my thoughts turn, inevitably, to the parents of the Israeli hostages. It is beyond my ability to even imagine what life must be like for them more than 200 days since their children were taken, to not know what their fate is or will be, to have nothing but fear as their constant companion. I know that many of them would have taken their child’s place if they could, would sacrifice their lives without hesitation if their child could be safe, could be free.

When we feel love, it opens us to so much more. Yes, we worry and want to protect but we also know the joy and richness that comes with caring and commitment. It is not always easy to live with a full heart and, yet, it is the only way to truly live.