It seems to me that, right now, we live in a world in which we are constantly having to advocate for ourselves and others, just to get things done. It used to be, at least in my memory, that if you entrusted someone to do or produce or create something, they just about always did it. You asked, they agreed and the transaction (of whatever sort) was satisfactorily completed. Of course, this was not without exception, but, by and large, one plus one equaled two.

Today, however, it seems that almost every circumstance is fraught, more complicated than it needs to be and that when it goes smoothly and easily, we marvel and share the story with anyone who will listen. In far too many cases, we are making phone calls, writing emails, trying to get someone to listen to, and address, our concerns.

Some of us have gotten very good at being the gadfly. Myself included. I am adamant about expectations and tenacious about making certain that those expectations are met. I won’t let up and I won’t let go until things are made right and I do that in both my personal and professional lives. And I know so many who do the same, who feel, as I do, that they have no other option.

Yes, we need to be our own advocate and yes, we need to advocate for our loved ones when they need us to play that role. But how did we reach a point in our society that almost everything requires advocacy from the service person who doesn’t arrive to the physician who doesn’t give return phone calls. It feels, sometimes, that too many people are operating at the lowest possible level and that we have to raise a fuss to get them to go anywhere, even marginally, above that.

And what happens to those who cannot advocate for themselves or have no one to speak for them? Their needs are often unmet or not fully met, their questions are not answered, their commitments are not honored.

I do not believe that this is universal although it is alarmingly pervasive. And I do believe that there are solutions, solutions that start with each of us. We have to set an example and a standard for our children and our colleagues, an example that prioritizes problem solving and positive connections, an example that demonstrates the value of doing it right, of taking an extra moment, of, simply, caring.

We are living in a time when there are not enough people to do the jobs that exist, when pressure is very real and training not always sufficient. But if we believe that the bar can be raised, then we can and must raise it, for the betterment of all, for the gift of a full heart.