I did a workshop exercise this week where we had to assign a number to each of a variety of key facets of our life. The numbering scale was 1 to 10 and the categories included relationships, career, money, health and the like. I, methodical soul that I sometimes am, thought initially that I had to rank order each item, from giving a 10 to what I am most satisfied with in my life to a 1 indicating an area needing most attention/improvement. Turned out that was not the case and what we were really asked to do was to evaluate each area in turn and give it the number that we felt reflected our satisfaction.

I found myself rating just about everything at 7 and above, predominantly 8 and 9 across the board. I looked at the categories and, in truth, what I felt most was gratitude. And I was fascinated by the fact that a number of my colleagues saw it just the opposite of what I did. Yes, they had some higher numbers, mostly capping around 6 or 7, but more of their rankings were much lower, reflecting a fair amount of discontent with many aspects of their lives.

It led to a discussion about what you would need to do to make those scores higher, how you might change your life to increase your satisfaction and your happiness. As I listened to the conversation I thought about the relative nature of those scores, not just because this is self perception but also because we all start at a different place and a different level.

Are we born as negative or positive people? Is that view of the “cup half full or cup half empty” one that we each have from birth, a reflection of our innate personalities? Or is it the life we have lived and the experiences we have had?

I don’t know but I do know that I believe we have a choice. I believe it is a choice to see possibilities. It is a choice to look for sun behind the clouds, for opportunities in the midst of crisis. I think that the most effective leaders find a way to help themselves and their teams see light at the end of the tunnel, to fight through the challenges to achieve the results, to understand and connect to mission and a vision for the future. When we do, when we choose the positive rather than the negative, we lead with, and grow, our full hearts.