I have always recognized the parts of me that clearly reflect my father, his personality and his traits. Like him, I am a perfectionist. Like him, I can perseverate over any and all things and let worry surround me like a cloud. I know that he had good qualities as well but it is the challenging ones that I most identify, in my memories of him and in myself.

My mother, on the other hand, was a woman for whom the word “centered” may have been created. She was calm and kind and self possessed. She believed that there was always good to be found and she lived by the words “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.” My constantly in motion, emotional and admittedly volatile self seemed to have nothing in common with her except brown eyes. And even those were not the same shade of brown.

But recently I have come to see a bit of my mother coming out in me. And I was struck by how grateful I was to find that in myself. You could take my mother anywhere, to the worst place you can imagine, and she would find a way to spot the geraniums in the window box or the sweet baby sleeping in a carriage. No matter what, those moments of positivity were ones she recognized, identified and shared.

This past week I spent a couple of days traveling for work and then a couple of wonderful days with one of our children and his family. And I found myself seeking out those moments of beauty and calm and appreciation. I pointed out the beautiful trees and lovely homes, I gathered the positive images and interactions and I shared them.

I realized that this is not something I just started to do but rather that it is more conscious and deliberate now. It is not about ignoring that which is serious or troubling or vexing but it is about remembering that there can be balance. We all have choices every day as to how we see the world and respond. The serious is serious, the difficult is difficult but remembering that there is also beauty and life and love is an effort worth making.

It sounds, perhaps, like a strange bit of self awareness at this point in my life. But it is a comfort and a reassurance that we, as long as we have breath in our bodies, can continue to grow and evolve and fill our full hearts.