I have always loved birthdays. As a child I remember thinking that I would feel somehow “different,” that when I woke up on that day I would not just be a year older but that I would be able to recognize some “change” that took place as another year was added to the tally. I never felt different but I still have the feeling, even this year after more than a few birthdays in my life, that it’s “my day” and, in that way, it signifies more than just another digit in my age.

Whether for myself or someone I care about, I love the “trappings” of birthdays as well. As corny as it is, I love the singing of “Happy Birthday” whether I am doing it or hearing it. And I love the giving and receiving of gifts, love to see delight on the recipient’s face and, like a little kid, get great joy out of ripping into my own presents.

And even though I still don’t “feel different” on my birthday, as an adult it has come to be both a day of celebration and a day of introspection. Unlike the New Year’s commitments that we often think about, my birthday is the day when I reflect on what I want the next year of my life to look like, what I want to accomplish, where I want to focus my energies.

I learned a long time ago and, as I imagine we all do, the hard way, that life changes in the space between one heartbeat and the next. Life is fragile and, in many ways, out of our control. That could, I suppose, make you conclude that nothing matters as our days are finite but I think it means that we must seize every moment and fill it until bursting with all that matters to us. That is our ultimate birthday gift to ourselves.

For me, that begins with relationships, with our family and friends, with not just connecting with them but spending the time to have real conversations about things that matter. It means new experiences, seeing new places and doing things that, perhaps, scare me a little. It also means defining my goals and fighting through the demons of procrastination and distraction. And it means remembering to be grateful every day. It is so easy to feel frustrated or trapped or stressed to a point that the scales all tip in that direction and we forget how fortunate, and how blessed, we are.

This year my gift to myself is to reflect every day on what fills my full heart and to continue to find ways to fill it even more. Happy birthday to me!