I was reading a brief blurb the other day about a celebrity couple who have been married for multiple decades, which, in today’s world, is often seen as some sort of feat. When asked the secret of their enduring relationship, the answer was the simple two words “Don’t leave.”

Sounds pretty basic, doesn’t it? But the reality is that it is anything but. When we get frustrated or angry or disenchanted in any situation, in any relationship, the easy answer is to just go. When the going gets tough, as it is said, the tough get going. But does that mean they dig in and hang in and fight or does it mean that they run?

Whether it is a personal or professional relationship, I think the same message applies. If we are committed to something or someone, we have to accept that not every day will be easy and not every moment will be perfect. Our loved ones and friends can make us angry and disappoint us. Our work can frustrate us or bore us or make us feel unappreciated or unsuccessful.

In our disposable society, it is easy to give up and throw in the proverbial towel. It is easy to say, as many of us have said or thought “I don’t want to do this anymore.” I am the first to say that can be the right choice and right decision. But there are times when maybe, just maybe, thinking “Don’t leave” will open a door we didn’t see before.

The phrase “Don’t leave” is for me accompanied by the word “yet.” That means take a moment and take a breath. My oft-repeated silent mantra is “slow down, calm down” and while I don’t always heed those words, I know that there is power in them.

There were times in my life when I would turn my back on a friend who had hurt or disappointed me. There were times when I would hold onto that anger for years. Sometimes the relationships were repaired after that, sometimes they were not and they were lost. I got angry with my only sibling at one point and didn’t speak to him for well over a year. We put the breach aside but we lost a year of connection.

Leaving is not wrong. It can be the only way. But how often have we all had the knee jerk reaction of “I’m out of here” that was, perhaps, not in our own best interests. When we have a difficult day at work, when we have an upsetting encounter with a friend, what if we faced it with the initial thought of “Don’t leave” and focused our energies on the road through rather than the road that leads away.

It seems so simple to say those two words “Don’t leave” but it is not at all simple, not at all easy. It is, however, a way to build and fill our full hearts.