For those of us of the Jewish faith, we are about to begin a New Year. It is a time, as with the secular New Year, when we reflect on the year that is ending and the year that is ahead. In our Jewish tradition, we specifically focus, during the ten days between the New Year, Rosh Hashanah, and the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, on making amends for anything we may done, consciously or unconsciously, to hurt or offend someone else.

Many people I know will approach their circle of friends and family with a blanket apology. They will say “If I have done anything that hurt or upset or harmed you, I am sorry” or words to that effect. I know that there are people who truly try to recognize and repair damage but, for good or for ill, I know more for whom these are just words. They are easy to say but more difficult to mean.

We all do things that may upset or even hurt others. We all make decisions that have a ripple effect far beyond us, decisions whose impact can be both intentional and unintentional. It is, I think, inherent to being human beings. Even if we lived in isolation, with no contact with the outside world, there are others who might be affected by our absence.

So I think about the year that is ending, a year in which I have had to make many decisions and choices, both personally and professionally, a year in which my interactions with others were too numerous to count and the “tentacles” of my life reached people I do not even know, a truth of the world in which we live.

Not every moment has been an easy or painless one. We all have, as I have had, tough calls to make sometimes. We all have lines that must be drawn and cannot be crossed. My preference is always to try and “fix” and make everyone happy, to play the role of “pleaser” as I have since childhood. But there are times when that just does not, cannot work and times when each of us need to be strong and firm, clear and directive.

I know that some of those difficult moments go with the territory as a leader. I accept that fully. I also know that some of the most difficult moments, the ones I would rather not have, are those that occur in my personal life. There are situations, and circumstances, that I just cannot make right, no matter how hard I try and I have had to take some stands that I know upset others and cause me pain as well.

At the end of the day, when I mull over these moments, there is only one phrase that repeats itself in my mind, one mantra that I hold onto. It is to, simply, “do the right thing.” If we approach each of these challenges with trust in ourselves, with openness and no agenda other than doing the right thing in the given situation, then we cannot fail. Our hearts are open and full, our minds are at peace and our path, while not simple or straightforward, is clear.