Often I find that with a larger group, especially one that does not connect all that often, that starting a meeting with an “icebreaker” can be not just a good introduction but a way for folks to find points of commonality with one another. I see it as one more tool in the toolbox for building teams I guess.

This week I did just that with a group and my question to them was to name the value that they felt most important to them. Now I know that most of us (I hope all!) have a long list of values, principles and qualities that we look for in ourselves and that we expect/desire from others.

It was a good exercise and an opportunity for me to participate as well. I didn’t have to contemplate my own choice. It is top of mind for me always and a value I hold above all else. And that is truth. It sounds easy. Tell the truth, be honest, hold yourself accountable. But it is not always so easy.

In relationships, professional as well as personal, sometimes we dance around the truth. We don’t want to hurt someone or make them upset or angry. We’re afraid of the ramifications of sharing what we see as the truth, a truth that might upset them and even damage the connection between the two of us.

It is a tricky walk I know. The phrase “speaking truth to power” is a well known one and the courage that takes underlies those words. But I think that “truth to power” or truth spoken to anyone has to come from another place of truth. It has to come from recognizing and honoring your own truth. Living in a place of truth is not as easy as it sounds. How often do we ignore or excuse a truth that, when confronted, might be painful? How often do we suppress our own truth in an effort to protect ourselves?

I don’t think living in truth means that every thought and opinion we have needs to be shared. Sometimes there are things best left unsaid, things that are unnecessary or irrelevant. But the judgement call there, and it is a judgement call, is knowing when not sharing your truth compromises your ability to be honest with yourself, when not sharing your truth demeans you, damages you as a person.

It is a journey to find the truth within ourselves, to confront it and to try and live fully in that place. Yet it is a journey, I believe, we must take in order to live, and lead, with a full heart.