It seems that, for just about as long as I can remember, tired has been a constant state of being. Not just tired but exhausted. We give our all to work, to our families and we struggle with the uncertainties and anxieties that life seems to present us in a never-ending flow. From a virus that just will not end to the violence and hatred in our world, it seems impossible not to be worn out.

I recently heard someone say that she and her husband have gotten away from saying that they’re tired or exhausted or weary. The words themselves just make us feel worn. Instead they say “I’m just a little sleepy right now” and somehow that seems, at least to them, to be more benign and somehow lighter.

I think there is a lot of truth to the impact of the words we use and the attitudes they represent. We have all likely had the experience of feeling less than perfect and, in answer to a question, have said we were “fine” or words to that effect. After we say that a few times, after we tell others that we are “good” or “fine” or even “doing great,” our perception changes and often we do feel better than we did at the outset.

Words can help with our pervasive exhaustion but words alone are not enough. Saying “I’m a little sleepy” or, conversely, that I’m “doing fine” does not change the reality of what we are living with, what we are dealing with, each of us individually and all of us collectively.

There is no easy answer. In truth, there is no solution. We have to find ways to hold onto our full hearts and to hold onto ourselves. Words do matter and the words we say to ourselves matter more than any others. We can choose whether to hold positive thoughts or negative. We can choose to take our negative thoughts and change them, looking for alternatives. We can commit to making a difference where we can, with our support in whatever form that takes, with our voices where we can, with our families and with our communities.

At the core of it, the only way for us to battle our weariness is to care for ourselves. Mindfulness, being in the present moment, is vital. Dwelling on the past or stressing about the future burns the energy we need for every day. Being grateful for where we are, what we do have, can also help us to renew and refresh. Weariness is internal as is strength. Which will you choose?