Each year, as my birthday inevitably rolls around, I think about what the coming year will hold and, even more so, what I want it to hold. Will this be the year that I achieve a goal or make a change or focus my time differently? My answers vary year over year and my commitment to whatever it is that I have decided, well, it often falls victim to my already busy life—or procrastination.

This year I set a different objective and, as June is month one after my May birth month, I have actually taken a step to meet my goal. What’s the goal? Well, I decided that this was the year in which, every month, I would do something that “scared me.” I am not talking about physical fear, although that could be involved but rather things I have put off, not wanted to do, felt vulnerable doing.

It’s hard to confront our own vulnerabilities I think. Many of us, especially when we play leadership roles, are committed to a mindset of “I’ve got this,” even when we are not entirely sure that we do. We gather up our strength, we find our inner confidence and we do what needs to be done.

Of course there are times when we have the proverbial knots in our stomachs. Difficult conversations, conflict, issues that impact people’s lives—all things most of us would like to avoid yet we know we can’t. I remember the first time I had to tell a staff member that they were being laid off. This person knew that layoffs were coming, as there had been a merger, but not that their role was affected. I had not slept at all and walked into the office with my face a mask of dread and anxiety. The employee took one look at me and said, gently, “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. I can see that I am one of the people whose job is being eliminated.” I felt both relieved by not having to tell this individual bad news and a little ashamed that my face was so transparent that I did not meet my responsibility.

So what are those things that scare me? What is on my list? I wonder, what would be on your list? For me, some of those items are conversations I’ve been avoiding, with people I care about but have created distance from because of something that they did or said that upset me. I have dug in my heels but now it is time to try and find peace. And I don’t know how that will go—whether the outcome will be helpful or hurtful but I have committed myself to try.

There are physical challenges on my list as well, things I’ve either thought I cannot do or don’t want to try. This is the year I’ve decided that I have to at least try. One example, heights are not my thing and, although I am not overly fearful, trying a bungee jump appeals to me and also scares me. So it made my list as well.

As I’ve thought about the things that scare me, it is clear that far more of them are emotional rather than physical. And it is clear that, as has often been said, no risk equals no reward. I believe that, moving forward with a full heart, I will find ways to open my life and myself to growth, change and fulfillment.