What is the role of a leader? Depending on your setting and your individual mindset, the answer could be to set direction, to motivate, to make change, to get things done. Regardless of what your definition of a leader, of your own leadership role, one thing is always true—you carry the responsibility. At the end of the day, the buck, as they say, stops with you. Oh, there may be others to whom it can be passed and levels above your role, but owning responsibility—to whatever extent—is part and parcel of leadership.

And depending on the circumstances, our approach as a leader may vary. We certainly would not want a military leader in times of battle to be working to build consensus or an emergency room physician pausing to gather a group to ponder an urgent life or death action decision. But for most of us in leadership roles, that kind of “do this now” only arises on occasion.

While we all juggle crises from time to time, the daily urgency and need to set and demand a course of action just is not there. That does not mean, however, that there are not those who operate in that manner every day, that they give orders, tolerate no discussion and use force—verbal or even emotional—to get the job done.

For those of us who see leadership differently, it seems to me that our role as leaders is to inspire growth and to promote change. Our role is not benign caretaker, it is not micromanager and it is not “I’ll just do it myself.” We can try all of those approaches. We can also fail.

We’ve all heard, and read, about mindfulness and mindful leadership—being thoughtful and centered and focused. Mindfulness involves making an effort to more deeply understand others and, in order to do so, more deeply understanding ourselves.

We can all play the “mindfulness game” I think. We can say the words and use the tools. But I think what really makes the difference, what makes it real, is authenticity. Being a mindful and caring leader, and for that matter, a mindful and caring individual, involves looking inside with honesty and facing our truth. What do we recognize in ourselves that we appreciate? And what are our challenges? How do we grow our own beings as we grow others?

Committing to authenticity means digging beneath the surface. It takes introspection and work and is not a one day or one moment journey. But if we give ourselves the grace to turn our focus inward, with honesty and compassion, we will find that authentic self and the ways in which true growth can begin.